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How to push back against loneliness as a way of life

Written by Krisana Finlay

June 1, 2023

I spent Memorial Day weekend with friends in the Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks. The experience was breathtaking – seeing a grizzly bear was a highlight for sure – but the greatest value I derived from my weekend was the connections I made with existing and newfound friends. 

Unfortunately for many Americans and Utahns alike, the cultivation of close relationships has declined, and we have a loneliness epidemic as a result. From 1985 to 2004, the number of Americans who had no close friends to discuss important matters with almost tripled. By 2018, one in four Americans reported rarely or never feeling like there are people who understand them. In the same survey, Generation Z reported being the loneliest generation, while those over age 72 (now over age 77) reported being the least lonely. And COVID-19 only worsened the situation with social distancing, disrupted routines, and a loss of immediate and future physical resources. 

Perhaps even more concerning is that Generation Z is becoming more comfortable being alone. We are internalizing loneliness as a way of life. 

Loneliness extends beyond emotional and mental distress into physical health. Research demonstrates that social disconnection is worse on physical health than obesity, alcoholism and pollution. It is comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day and increases the likelihood of heart disease, dementia and stroke. In addition, those who report being lonely or socially isolated have a higher risk of dying, and those who live alone have a 32% higher risk of death. 

In an effort to problem-solve, multiple parties including the federal government are proposing remedies to the nation’s loneliness epidemic. However, too often the remedies are government-centric, rather than being grounded in the source of solutions to loneliness: people and civic institutions, such as the family. 

For example, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, who has taken a focus on the nation’s mental health and well-being, published an op-ed about loneliness and proposed a national framework to address the issue. The framework outlines six pillars to address the downstream effects of social disconnection and increase connection across the country. The pillars include: (1) strengthening social infrastructure (e.g., parks, libraries, etc.) and public programs, (2) enacting pro-connection public policies at every level of government, (3) mobilizing the health sector, (4) reforming digital environments to “critically evaluate our relationship with technology,” (5) deepening our knowledge through more robust research, and (6) cultivating a culture of connection. 

Many public policy commentators reinforce the framework’s ideas. Some share the idea that we need walkable neighborhoods or “we’ll remain isolated by design.” Others offer ideas to expand research and government programs, create social-emotional learning curricula, utilize service workers, and focus on particular needy populations, like veterans and farmers. 

Government has a role in addressing public health problems. In the case of a mental health problem like loneliness, for example, research shows that access to neighborhood amenities encourages opportunities for social connection.  

However, government is not the solution to loneliness. As researchers wrote after a meta-analysis of the scholarly literature on loneliness, “Strong evidence supporting interventions addressing loneliness remains limited.” A lack of government policies and programs didn’t cause mental health problems, and an abundance of them won’t end the mental health epidemic of loneliness. 

Therefore, instead of turning to government interventions, we should remedy loneliness using the means through which deep relationships are commonly developed and nurtured: personal interaction and active membership in civic institutions – family, church, neighborhood association, etc. The surgeon general writes in his advisory,

“Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled and more productive lives. Given the significant health consequences of loneliness and isolation, we must prioritize building social connection the same way we have prioritized other critical public health issues such as tobacco, obesity, and substance use disorders. Together, we can build a country that’s healthier, more resilient, less lonely, and more connected.”

So, rather than reacting to a Facebook post, Instagram story or TikTok reel, let’s cultivate real connection by spending face-to-face quality time with people. That is easiest – and perhaps most effective – when the people around us are those with whom we share a common bond of membership in a civic institution.

More than any other factor, deep relationships are the key to happiness. Connection is individual in nature but is commonly cultivated in the context of shared group experience. So, the solution to loneliness will be personal in nature and most likely will arise out of the context of the groups which we are a part of, like our families, friends and faith traditions. Whether it be a phone call to a parent, a religious gathering, or even a weekend in Yellowstone and Grand Teton with friends – the solution to social connection lies within us and the civic institutions of which we are a part.

Insights: analysis, research, and informed commentary from Sutherland experts. For elected officials and public policy professionals.

  • The cultivation of closeness has declined, and we have a loneliness epidemic as a result.
  • Too often, remedies are government-centric – the government is not the solution to loneliness.
  • The solution to loneliness lies within our personal connections and our active membership in civic institutions.
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